Weird is what makes you different.

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Have you ever taken any chances? Never thinking of what the outcome may be or how will it affect the lives of the ones you care for, or even life of your own, exactly knowing what’s on stake and what’s not, what you deserve and what you will get. Love is one of the greatest chances you can ever take in your life. Of course, it’s a long shot but you’ll catch up just fine. You will surely come to know why love is called the feeling that outweighs happiness. For those idiots out there thinking that love always brings pain, are all dickheads. Also if you feel that it doesn’t have anything to do with pain, think again. Pain is the most aspiring as well as inspiring part of love you hold for the significant other. Cause it has the potential to inspire you in ways that your other feelings cant. Secondly, it provides experience. Just think upon it, the experience you can extract from your darkest hour of pain will out sum your happy hours. I’d say pain is the reason we live through happiness, better yet feel happiness. It also helps you realize the true colors of your soul. What actually you think about any person. After all a strong man is measured by the decision he makes in tough times. Also it’s very important that you find the right person, it’s like the post I’m writing, I can load it up with any fancy English crap, but what good will it be if I don’t communicate.

Computer Students' minds are all twisted. And I was the special kind (at least I thought so). For instance, in examination hall if I can’t recall anything, I try to remember the song that was playing in the background while I was reading that topic. Yeah, sounds weird, but the really weird thing is that I can recall what I was trying to remember. If it’s so hard for you to deal with, then you can’t imagine what my angel, yeah now it’s okay to call her angel, my angel, would have thought. After all she’s just a simple girl, didn’t have a brain that can roam on such places to seek answers. Not even close. She was just awesome. And in true means “Way out of my league”. We had to keep our thing a secret as far as the college was concerned. That’s when I thought of Murphy’s law, it says if anything can go wrong, it will. We agreed on not telling anyone about our little secret. Clearly, one of us was not able to keep their end of the bargain. Okay, it might have been me, but what else do you expect from me I was new to this thing. I had disclosed this to couple of close friends, apparently one of them sold me out. Anyways, this night we had our very first fight. She got so pissed, she hanged up on me and called it off for that night. Again I was up all night. She said “how can I trust you with anything else let alone my life”. And she was true in every sense; I was the idiot who never knew what to do. I wondered if she is ever going to forgive me. Later that night she did but the thing was she can’t trust me with anything now. She didn’t say the words but what idiot won’t get that. Even more important was what I thought that she would have thought. You might have to read the previous line again. We’re dealing with love here, it more complicated than the recent lines. I thought she thinks of me as a guy who couldn’t keep his word. It was the first night I was experiencing the pain of love and was so stuck in it that I didn’t even thought for a moment that she was in that too. Whatever was going on in my mind, much worse was going in hers. And it was all because of me. Only if I hadn’t been idiot enough to rat it out. I kept texting her till her inbox blurted out ”please no more”. Later that night, though it was 3 a.m in the morning I’d prefer to call it night, I got a text from her asking was it supposed to be this way. I knew what she was up to, I mean it’s not even a week and I’ve already planted a bomb at the foundation. I didn’t know how I was going to clean up this mess. Suddenly I realized why not try the truth. I wrote: sorry, angel I didn’t mean to hurt you but it was my first dream come true, the girl I loved in my life loves me back. And I couldn’t keep it to myself. It meant nothing other than that. Tonight you are hurt cause of me, it would have been much less of it if I was not there. Pressed the send button and next second regretted mentioning the last sentence. It sounded more of melodrama rather than an apology appeal. In between I got a text from her, it read: you are such an idiot(my heart raced, now what). I myself choose to be with you. It so little compared to the feeling I get when I see you or when you are with me. You won’t be able to change it in any way. And yeah, you are such a drama queen. It put a smile on my face, but I knew this incident was going to leave a stain on her heart. I decided to be more cautious when dealing with this kind of delicate matter. But I am as god made me, meant to screw things up.

Now there was this day I had assembled a football team to play against the DA-IICT team, of course at DA-IICT, our college don’t have a football ground. And the team was assembled in last minutes, don’t get your hopes high thinking if we won the game. So anyway, on my way back home I way with my school friend. He’s been my friend now for over 6 years. Nice guy. Meanwhile, angel invited me to her home. It was 8 sharp in the evening. She said come soon I’ll introduce you to my mother, twin sisters and a younger brother. I asked what about your father? She said "he’ll be home soon from work. And remember it’s just a friendly visit. Be nice." I was like..is she out of her mind? I smell like shit. Sweat has left its geographical marks on each and every part of my body, the only thing I needed then was a bubble bath with soft shampoo pouring down my head. But as philosopher Jagger once said, you can’t always get what you want. So there I was VISITING my sasural the very first time, soaked in sweat. Even the blowing air could fracture my bones. I was tired to that extent. And what about my friend, will it be okay to bring him over. After a couple of thoughts I decided to take him along, as it would add up to so called friendly visit. And further, we decided to leave soon as possible. She was waiting at her Gate. She was dressed up in a light orange night suit irresistibly beautiful. I can actually see her eyes glow orange in the dark night. And I can tell you those eyes can work wonders. And they were on me at the very moment. I felt she could see through my soul. She paused for a second and asked me are you okay? I said what exactly are the color of your eyes? She was confused. Guys this is the ability of a girl that we can’t hold them accountable for. The ability to behave as if nothing is going on, even if there is. According to them a little bit seduction is okay. She smiled and escorted us to her home from there on. A pulse of fright ran through my body, can’t tell you the adrenaline rush. I stepped into a giant sized hall marble floored, attached kitchen to the back. Two single beds placed adjacent to each other by the corner. A T.V in one corner, I guessed it was not used for a long time. Everything was spotless clean and neat. Unlike my home. Everything was in the place where it belonged. Her mother greeted me from the doorstep and invited me in. She didn’t look that much aged. Most of the facial features was more of my angel. Her eyes scanned me for over a minute, I feared that next second I would be teleported to scary place the one from my darkest dreams. It was creeping me out but she was simply analyzing whether I was the good boy or the other way around. I put myself together, hardly. Next member I was introduced to was her younger sister, unfortunately I didn’t get to meet her other twin but it was okay. At least I had managed to meet her mother, it in itself was a great achievement. And in the beginning it’s necessary to take baby steps. I guess it went too cool. As far as I know, but of course I had to hear what her mother thought about me. In middle of my thought her mother came out of the kitchen and served us fried rice with little peanuts and kadhipattas in it. My angel came and placed 2 glasses of Rasna (mango flavored) beside the plates and whispered “I have made it for you” …enjoy your meal. Sometimes I’m driven with this strange momentary madness, and the moment was there, I took the glass in an instance and drank it to empty the other. I don’t know what caught me, I think it was just because I was going to drink something that has been made by my angel’s hands. Suddenly all jaws broadened. What the hell was that? This guy is surely a basket case. I felt embarrassed but somehow began eating. It was getting late and there was no sign of her father. My phone rang to its full volume. Metallica’s “The Memory Remains” flooded the quiet room. Point to be noted: Always turn vibrate on when in your g.f’s home. It was mom, she asked: dear aren’t you coming home, how long is it going to take? I managed: I’m on my way home, will be there in 15 minutes. That was the signal I can no longer wait for my sasurji to arrive. So I bid my goodbye to all and left with my friend. Angel said I’ll see to it that next time you meet daddy. I said I’m looking forward to it, but I was not and you’ll know why.

Exams were near and we planned combined studies, of course at her home, an excuse she made for me to meet her father. I reached her home at 8:00 a.m sharp; again her father was not there. She said he’s out working will be home anytime in noon. I was new soldier on the battle field, it was far better to wait for slow death than to be exterminated at once. She said lets study. I was like ”Yeah right, like I can study now”. She was serious, but according to me combined studies was a disaster. I thought it was just time taken out to be together. But apparently it was not. Nothing else is more difficult than sitting beside a girl and to think only about studying. Frankly it was the first time I felt like kissing her. But something inside me said. Go slow tiger, we’re not there yet. She’s too sensitive and you too are not ready. I somehow flunked the thoughts and concentrated towards the book. But with no background music I was unable to do so. I kept looking at her time to time, as I hoped she didn’t knew what I was doing. She suddenly burst into giggles as if she knew all the way about my sneak peeks. She said you’re cute, and a lot weird, but I guess weird is what makes you different. I said: Please, don’t push me, I’m right on the edge, I’ll end up kissing you. Speaking of weird, her father showed up in middle of the conversation, first example of bad timing. I gave out random smile at him. But he seemed aghast, like he was not happy about something. But why take it out on me. I certainly got the feeling, he was not that friendly. I was in enemy territory, and the war was on. My smiling peace proposal was desperately rejected. I had to take steps. Instead, I didn’t speak another word until I was compelled to. It’s what happens when you don’t get a smile in return of a smile. He was knocking me down. He came close, I was literally shivering. I thought he’ll ask my name, so I kept on practicing my name in my mind. he spoke…: What caste do you belong to? I said: Sanket. Second example of bad timing. Then realized, its not what he asked for. I quickly managed: sorry?. He asked again; what is your caste? Clean headshot, there was no further discussion. This man was clinically insane. I had lost the battle without even firing a single bullet. I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t come across this kind of awkward situation in my whole life. I was a student of a school where these matters were of less concern. It hardly came up during my schooling year. Angel was my life saver. She said daddy he’s a student from central board, very bright and even more helpful, he has come here to help me with maths, truth was I sucked at maths even more to what this conversation was leading to. He said, “so I’ll take it as you don’t know your caste, I suppose you can at least tell me your surname or your father’s name”. Another headshot, this one pushing the previous bullet out from back of my head. It was turning nasty. The man was asking for all the things except the one I provided, my first name. I replied uncle, its Sanket Banker. And its better if you just grab it as Sanket, cause that’s the one you’ll remember after 4 years. He felt my words and responded: what are you going to do? I said, score good in exams, so you’ll remember my name and won’t ask for any other details. My marks will speak for me. But I hope you all know what I really meant. He was silent for the first time, after all, the soldier was not dead yet. Anyhow he survived 2 headshots. Last thing he said was “we are xyz”. Xyz is some caste. Sorry I can’t disclose it right now. It’s not the right time. I have just 1 request to you guys please, help me spread this message. If you love someone, not of your own caste. Recommend this blog, recent and upcoming posts, to your friends or anyone you like. But please see to it this thing don’t get unnoticed. Help me spread the awareness if you think what’s happening is wrong. Because its what we do, when something don’t make sense, we pick a pen and put sense into it, so that it mean something to someone, anyone. I was going to write my break up story but I thought this story was meant to be told. The thing for you guys to know is, we are together, and always will be, moreover, the feelings that we share today is truly out of this world, even if it will seize my existence, I’ll die fighting for it. Because this is as far as it gets. No more castism.

Special thanks to all my dear friends for being with us. God bless you all. And I’ll be writing more just need your support. If you like this post, even a bit of it, please leave me a comment. It means a lot, I’ll take it as a blessing.

Love You All. :)